How many of us have broken up with someone by text? Or,
So, why do we avoid those difficult conversations so often? There are a few reasons that can be applied to all areas of our lives but that all derive from fear. We avoid difficult conversations because we fear we’ll be disliked, we fear we’ll upset someone or we fear the awkwardness of the conversation itself.It’s taken me a few years to master the art of having difficult conversations, but here are some things to consider and how they can be applied to
1) What’s the risk or cost of not having that difficult conversation
If we take work
2) Being courageous VS Being an arseholeThere is a fine line between being courageous enough to have that difficult conversation and being an arsehole during that conversation
Take your partner’s cousin’s brother’s girlfriend’s baby shower that you really don’t want to go to. You could just tell him or her the truth that you really don’t want to go (because you would much rather spend a Saturday afternoon with friends and at 27 years old, baby showers just aren’t your thing). Would this upset him / her? Only you will know the answer, make sure your courage to have difficult conversations doesn’t surpass your ability to be kind and tactful. You could just say that you can’t make it to the baby shower?
3) The most difficult conversation is saying NO
When you need to say no, it is important to just say it and leave it at that. You don’t need to add detail, find excuses,
A. Can you
A: Oh go on, it’ll be overnight so really easy.
A: I’ll pay you. I never go out. If you were a real friend you would.
A. *shocked pause* Ok then.
4) Will they still like me
We all want to be liked. The truth is, not everyone is going to like you, for a variety of reasons- you might remind them of their ex, your personality might just get on their nerves. But, in my experience, the courage to be honest with people and have difficult and awkward conversations mostly captures respect above anything. And, it’s pretty hard to dislike someone that you really respect